Sunday, June 6, 2010

A good day in the cheap seats..

I just had to drop by and post about my first "horsey" day in a long while yesterday.

So I left the job at the farm March 31st and ever since I have done lots of fun and cool stuff but I haven’t sat on a horse since. And what’s more, I haven’t wanted to either! In its own way this is a very interesting moment to be standing around watching how I have interacted with horses and their people for the last two months and what I have felt. Now don’t get me wrong, I have been around horses still just not totally embroiled in them like a steamed lobster.

Here’s some of the things I have done in my time away from my horsey life:

1.) Went to the Wood Memorial at Aqueduct

2.) Went to the Kentucky Derby for the first time

3.) Made an entry for the Purina Blog O Spondent contest

4.) Shipped horses to and from a local farm to a horse show (3 x)

5.) Went to help set jumps at one of Jimmy’s clinics up here

6.) Saddled a horse for my old boss at Delaware park

7.) Went to watch a friend have a lesson with Laura Chapot

8.) Went to three Point to points and Steeplechases (actually tailgated)

9.) Went to Devon Grand Prix

10.) I volunteered a full Sunday at Fair Hill HT, timing stadium

So yesterday I got off my duff and gave a friend of mine her first lesson with me in an attempt to prepare her for a couple starter trials this summer. She hadn’t had lessons for a while and God only knows how long since I taught, though I do love it. So off we went and schooled and practiced and in the beginning I ended up hopping on for a second to show Steph that yes “Mikey” did in fact know what bending was. The first time I got on in over 2 months. It felt great, then I was a little ouchy. Made my point and got off. He’s a comfortable ride and over the next 45 mins he and Steph both learned a bunch of useful stuff that will improve their time together.

I ended up washing Mikey while Steph chilled and drank Gatorade and I remembered what loving horses is like for the simplicity of it. Funny I’m not sure I realized how far I’d left that part drift out to sea.

So I loaded Mikey and sent them on their way. Then I went off to the barn where Lad had lived and moved all my jump standards and rails to be close to the barn. I found a buyer for them and I am gladly shirking off one more possession I don’t need. As I ferried the jumps up the hill in my Subaru I couldn’t escape how in all the time I spent at the farm yesterday I didn’t miss Lad. Don’t get me wrong, I do miss Lad, for who he is. But I don’t miss the labor that my own riding had become around the BO there. (I do think it’s about the place and the aura there, and not about Lad and me)

But I looked at the course my jumps were set in, how a pony clubber had decorated them with flags and streamers and such and I know I used to do that too, but all I could think was about the curmudgeonly stuff about young folks not respecting property. And I realized that for each of my 4 min on Mikey, I still have a long way back to go to get to the fun part of riding full on again.

Once upon a time I was a girl who lived to ride. Now I have become a woman who lives a life of responsibilities and tasks and to do lists. There’s a chasm that’s grown between the two sides of my personality, a chasm that comes into many lives. All I have to do now is figure out how to rebuild the bridge that I used to cherish. I don’t know if, when or how it will come back. But the mere minutes I was on Mikey reminded me of so many moments that I cherish, how can it not return at some point.

Thanks for listening.