Monday, March 22, 2010

I went to bed and woke up today as a motivational speaker...

I have not a clue where the message behind today's blog came from, but since I like it, we'll go with it. :-) ( I write it all in word first before I copy here. So sometimes I'll put a little note in after having read the final version)

Its day two of blogging and my writer’s block has hit. Well ok, maybe its not so much “writer’s block” as it’s not knowing which of the bazillion things flying around in my head to write about next. I kind of feel like I have to write about horses to keep people interested. But conversely I am myself about more than just horses and I like to ponder a lot of various things. I’m trying to choose and having trouble which is the “right” path.

In keeping with my promise to post things from my past first I have done some scouring, found some old notebooks and laughed myself silly at some of my college writing papers. Among these my favorite has to be the paper assigned to delve into the inner 'love related' themes in any movie and to discuss which of the literary and sociological representations of love that the film encompasses. And your brave blogger chose not an easy film, like oh say, “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” or “Casablanca” or even “Gone With the Wind.” No sadly my friends, my corrupted view of the world helped me to choose a film that wouldn’t be considered a love story by many stretches of the imagination: “The Waterboy.”

It stars Adam Sandler, Kathy Bates and Henry Winkler and is the tale of a semi-challenged boy who was the football team’s waterboy until he proved he was capable of so much more. It is a good old fashioned underdog story and over and over as I read the paper I realized all the elements that run parallel to pieces of my life experiences:

Belief in himself was a late development.

His skill set wasn’t discovered at an early age

When his awakening to being his own person developed, his first instinct was to come barreling back to the safety of his previous cocoon: his home. But by then too many self discoveries had been made and the own clear choice was to hoof it out on his path.

Now I am not an idiot, I know you’re thinking, “How in the heck did you get that from a silly Adam Sandler football comedy!?” Well the answer is really simple, you see what you know and understand. You can park me in front of Titanic over and over and I’ll always cry at the end. I will never be so fascinated with the architectural design of the fated ship that I research for hours the methods and intentions of the design and construction teams for this fine vessel. That’s because I am not a scientist, architect or builder. I am a romantic, an optimistic, an inner child promoter and a friend to all. This is who I am and what I know. So those are the parts I see in most things I watch, and they’re all definitely present in nearly every thing I have written and signed my name to.

Take for example this poem I wrote nearly fifteen years ago…(It rhymes and it’s a long one but it goes fast, I promise)

The Greatest Game of Tag

Memories abound through my mind

Usually when I wish only to unwind

Thoughts of youthful bliss and glee

Non existent knowledge of responsibility

Running wild through fields of flowers

Laughing, tumbling, supernatural powers

Bikes and skates my only transports

Garbage and dishes simply chores

25 cents my weekly cash on hand

Plenty before inflation hit our land

Simple joys of jumping in leaves

Desperately hating my school uniform’s sleeves

How I recall with a grin my first pup

and the constant chord, “I want to grow up!”

Even know as I pen this verse,

My longing to be young again is a definite curse

To go back in time and be free

To run and play for eternity

I laugh to admit a tear in my eye

Longing to replay those times gone by

Taxes and bills sit beside my desk

Long ago having replaced ribbons and barretts

Emails drown my I.S.P. box

Not one as interesting as my painted rock

Funny enough these words have made me cry

Wishing for some mischief to again sparkle my eye

A grown up’s life is what I sought

Isn’t it odd that now I wish I’d fought?

To stay forever young can’t be done outside

But maybe if that freedom we don’t hide

Just possibly it’s not too far gone

Perhaps my imagination can again let it spawn

UP and high from inside of me

Through and out for the world to see

Why shouldn’t I hide and seek?

When does it become obsolete?

Why do larger bones lead away from playful spirit?

Can anyone see a reason not to cheer it?

To leave our offices once a day

To run outside and simply play

The warm breezes and cooling rain

Dancing with our hope, quelling our inner pain

And yet I sigh with realization

Never will this happen in our troubled nation

Never will the happiness and gaiety be here

Not when clearly our work is so dear

Economy and planning rule our dimensions

Carefree disregard too dangerous to mention

Individual and different as we claim

Yet trapped into a routine always the same

If only I could shout across the land

“Drop your work the great tag game is at hand!”

To watch millions run amuck and wild

Casting away the old, embracing the child

Realizing we are still allowed to frolic in delight

Fighting desperately against the onset of night

One massive melee of grown ups alive

Feeling, breathing, reliving the age of five

And oh what a sight that would be

To mix all people, all classes civilly

Words of hate banned as people competed

No one wanting more than to just not be defeated

What would happen to our world?

What might this change in our boys and girls?

To see the lines of society broken

Watching as all adults run loose and joking

Would it spark the insight that we’re all alike?

Could it possibly cause an end to fights?

I can only guess what might happen to us

A world moving towards shucking all the fuss

And yes I’ll admit to being an idealist too

But I long for my times of tag and Winnie the Pooh

To my mind we might be all alike

Remembering our roller skates and bikes

Along those lines the possibility remains

Maybe you’re longing might be the same

So to further my dreams along

I’ll willingly respond to this simple song

“Drop your work and leave your charts

The greatest game of tag is about to start!”

And if you find that my wishes ring true

I’ll most assuredly be waiting for you

I guess what I am writing about today is that maybe the obvious choices to make in life aren’t always the right ones. We choose to do things that are comfortable with who we are and what we know well. The decisions that cause the least amount of conflict and doubt are the ones that require the least movement from our personal comfort zones. Maybe the choices we make do slowly evolve with our own self confidence and age and wisdom and those “Ah ha” moments where you’re covered in dirt, the horse is galloping off at high speed and you look down at the new shiny spurs and say to yourself, “Ok. I don’t think he liked this tack change.” :-)

So I’m gonna stick my brave little neck out here and issue a challenge. I’d like everyone who has gotten this far into my blog to do one thing in 2010 that makes them scared, uncomfortable and icky at the thought of failure. One thing that somewhere you know deep down you’re capable of, but somehow because we grew up your brain decided that anytime you looked at this type of thing it was programmed to say, “No sorry. The IT center of your cerebral cortex has a permanent failure with this task. Please resume your normal protocol.” I challenge you to look at this “failure screen” take a deep breath and as Kathy Griffin would say “SUCK IT!”

Find whatever it is that you programmed yourself not to do and do it. Believe in your limitless self again. Even if it’s for a mere 5 min break from the kids, a walk around the block, or being nice to your least favorite co-worker, neighbor, relative or school classmate. Whatever the smallest step you want to try is, go ahead and try it. I am not promising success, but I know that the first step is to get out there and try. Adrenaline kicks in even if you fail. And the adrenaline you felt by conquering something you were afraid to try is worth it. To be honest isn’t it important to remind ourselves that we are limitless, boundless free spirits, even while chained to a desk or home for 60+ hours a week doing the “have to’s” in life? Give yourself a moment to relive what that all encompassing rush from tagging some one out felt like.

The paper on “The Waterboy” netted me a grade of a B+. Not because it was such an easy film to pick apart. Rather it was because it was such an unusual choice that my professor liked that I didn’t choose door 1,2,or 3. As she said to me in person, “You, Emily, took the secret trap door behind the audience’s coat check station. And it worked!” How about you look for the overlooked path in your life and see if you too can make it lead somewhere great.

All my best,


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